Taking Care..

I became uncomfortably confronted a few months back with the realization that I was not taking very good care of myself. I was taking care of my children, and occasionally, my husband, but did little for myself. My story now is pretty different. I pay attention to what I eat, my exercise, sleep etc. Then the subject came up again and I saw the gap between the story I thought I had and the story that I was really telling myself.

I think this is fairly typical for women, in general, and mothers, in particular. We faithfully take care of everyone else , but cheat ourselves over and over. So, it was not surprising that I fell into old habits and stories. The story of not taking care for me goes something like this: "I don't need to meditate right now, I'll have that cup of tea and then right onto the computer to check email and then I'll stretch out." Then 2 hours goes by. "Well, the kids need a snack, so I'll do that, and then I'll take a quick shower and have a snack bar, then I'll take a brisk walk for exercise." Then another 2-3 hours goes by. "Well, I need to check my email again. I'll just walk to the bus stop- that will be my exercise. Hmm...haven't eaten much today. I'll take another snack for the walk." And the day continues. Exercise is not really happening, meditation is not happening, eating is barely happening. What is happening?

The story in my head that supported my self-care was slowly chipped away by my rational mind- my ego. My ego wants me to keep running, doing, and achieving. It tells me that my worth is wrapped up in my doings. It tells me that if I'm not "producing", then I don't have a lot to offer. Stop me if this sounds familiar.

Today, I took a nap. It felt good and after stray thoughts of guilt that I was able to drop, I realized that the nap was a sign that I need to slow down again. Slow down to go inward and connect with my true Self. The Self who knows that I don't have to prove my worth. I am worthy by being in this world. The Self who knows that action taken from a place of lack or feeling not enough, is not an action that serves anyone, least of all, me. I am only to act from a place of love, peace, abundance. And to come from that place, I need to take care of myself. Take care physically, mentally, financially, spiritually, personally.

So, I'm slowing down. And posting a blog. OK, now I'm slowing down. But, don't take my word for it that this is important. Try it yourself and let me know what happens. Taking care could take many forms. Taking your time in the shower, sitting down to eat and really enjoying your food, getting a hair cut or pedicure, taking a walk in the woods, meditating, listening to some calming music, saying "No" to more activities. See what comes to mind that would help you feel taken care of.

After you give this a try for an hour, day, week, post a comment. Perhaps you'll inspire someone to change their story.