Slowing Down

When I tune into them, there are tons of signs for me to take action or not take action on a particular thing in my life.  This week there have a quite a few signs for me to SLOW DOWN.  I've been running fast.  It has been extremely productive and exciting and exhausting and although it feels like there are still a million things to do and explore, my body, my kids, my spirit, and most recently, my car has been signaling to rest a bit.

First, I started getting periodic stomach upset.  Then my butt has been aching (took a strength bands class- what a workout!) and I had to slowly walk around to lessen the soarness of my rear.  Then my kids have been climbing on and off of my lap more often than usual and my 4 year old can't seem to survive without me being with her 24/7.  Most recently, my car battery drained due to yesterday's panic pushing of still mysterious buttons in my minivan, setting off the interior lights.  I literally could not go faster than a slow jog to get anywhere after that.

What a blessing!  I had a larger block of time this morning to just chill.  I realized just recently that when this stuff starts it is so much easier to just surrender to it than to try to work around it.  If I've done the later, the signs become more dramatic and I'm stuck in bed with a soar back or lost something that I regret. Although that in itself can be spiritually illuminating.

So the next time you stub your toe or hurt your back or your car dies, curse if you must, but then take it as a sign to slow down and maybe smell the roses.

Coming into your own

Monday I led my teleclass on"Uncovering Your Extraordinary Life" specifically for women.  It was similar to the local workshop, but I had not done this type of work on the phone.  My experience of it was that it flowed, it felt fairly easy to do, I felt grounded and confident.  In short, I felt like I was in my element. I was coming into my own.

I've had other moments in my life where this was the case.  It feels like this is what I was meant to do- like I was the "hole in the flute where Christ's breath flowed" and the music was wonderful. So, why doesn't  that happen all the time, or even, more often?  

I don't know the answer to that question, but I think at least part of it has to do with letting ourselves get confused- or having our egos confuse us- about what we want/need/should be doing.  I know if I stop being present, being still, focusing on the Now, then I start to get into my head and feel cut off from the heart.  And when that happens, I start worrying about details, and thinking and rethinking what I'm doing, trying to make sure it is perfect...then it all gets out of whack.  I get attached to what I am doing and disconnected to who I really am.  I start to fear the lose of what I have at the moment.

Case in point, the call went really well and flowed- I was connected.  Then I went to check out the recording of it the next day and ...it was only one-third there.  The recording stopped about 22 minutes into the hour call.  I was frustrated, disappointed.  Then I remembered, that it really doesn't matter.  I can do a lot with 22 minutes.  I started to become attached to a recording and started worrying about losing something.  I will create new things, new recordings. It's impossible not to.  I will be that flow again and how wonderful is that? 

We're Having a Heat Wave!

This week on the east coast, and I suppose in other areas, there's been a heat wave.  We were dripping to begin with and then suddenly, all the electricity went out.  It was the entire town and parts of the state.  

I immediately started problem solving.  We'd fill up the baby pool, get out the popsicles and make a party of it. Everyone will have fun.  We'll get away from the TV and computer and get some real QT in.  Then, things did not go exactly as planned.  Crankiness ensued.  Increased sweatiness.  Complaints started.  I spoke with my husband for no other reason other to let him know that we were suffering although it was in the guise of helping him think of strategies in case of train delays.  

Then my cell phone stopped working.  My incredible au pair tried her cell and it worked.  She recommended calling my husband again.  I thought it was not a good idea- what's the use of telling him what's going on if he could do nothing about it?  I didn't want to go "into my story", but accept the situation and find solutions.  My au pair nudged me to call.  With her prodding,  I called not knowing what to expect from the call.  My husband wisely suggested that we call my brother, who is 20 minutes away, and go there to hang out and get cool.  It never occurred to me to call him and ask for help. 

 I called him and of course, he welcomed us.  It was awesome!  Cool air, fresh food, a ping pong table!   The kids came alive and my brother and sister-in-law had some excitement that night.  

I learned some valuable lessons.  Ask for help when you need it.  We have an abundance of resources at our fingertips if we know where to look.  We know where to look, if we are open to all possibilities.  We are open to all possibilities if we don't judge the moment.   When you get a nudge, whether from yourself or someone else, seriously consider acting on it, even if you don't understand what it is about at the moment.  Chances are that it will become clearer with time. 

Our au pair, my husband, and my brother and sister-in-law were my guardian angels last night.  Who are yours? 

Changing your Energy

Everything is energy. We are swimming in it, enveloped by it, eating and pooping it.  Maybe that's too much information, but in our house, we talk a lot about bodily functions, but I digress...

So we are constantly surrounded by our energy and the energy of others.  I have become more aware of the energy of others and I've noticed that I am sensitive to it.  I feel it and it affects me.  Today I was sitting in the waiting room of my daughter's speech therapist when another family walked in.  I felt immediately the difference in energy.  I was talking to my mom on the cell and felt really happy and calm and when they walked in I felt uneasy.  I finished the conversation quickly with my mom and chalked it up to a courtesy issue- no one needs to hear my conversation with mom.  Then after I hung up I realized that it was more than that.  This family had such a contrasting energy that I felt I needed to really be alert to my own energy.

After an attempt or two in interacting with them and getting little or no response- they seemed very tense and nervous, I decided to close my eyes and breath and get centered into my own peacefulness.  At first, I made it about trying to change their energy- sending them peace, love, the message that it's going to be OK.  Then the realization came that my only responsibility and business is my own energy.  I went into a nice space of peace and relaxation while still being alert in the room.  

Shortly I noticed the tense easing just a little.  The husband was still tense, but the wife was more relaxed and the child was enjoying himself with the playroom.   I think the energy did change in that room just a little.  It helped that my daughter was finishing up her session and it also helped that I stopped interacting with them.  But no small part was my focus on my own energy instead of their energy.  It was reminder that I can't change others- only myself and my perceptions.  Then the whole world changes at my feet.