Falling in Love with Yourself

Ever wonder why we fall in love?  I've fallen a number of times and each time it feels grand.  Surges of energy, feelings of invincibility and exhilaration, unending thoughts of your beloved.  The obvious reasons for falling in love are to continue the species (biological) and fooling us into making a commitment before we really understand all the work we have before us (cultural).  But I think there is another reason- a more spiritual one.  

I recently spoke with a friend about a rock concert she went to.  She's been following this artist since she was a teen and always felt such a connection with him, his music, and  his band.  It was not an obsession thing, but the songs and concerts were part of her growing up and family.  When I asked her what she admired so much about him she listed a bunch of attributes and things he's done for his community and world.  I thought more about this conversation and realized that many qualities and attributes he possessed were courage, faith, kindness, generosity, honesty about himself and others, and following his path of bliss.  His fans, which are many, love him with a loyalty that is rare and I think this is why.  So, they've sort of fall in love with him, in a sense.  They feel alive at his concerts.  They feel happy when they sing his songs.  

OK, so what, right? Well, the "so what", is that when you fall in love or admire someone it is because you believe that they possess something that you don't.  We tend to look for folks who have qualities that we don't usually feel comfortable showing the world.  The truth is:  we do and can express these qualities.  We have chosen over the years to shut the doors on those aspects of ourselves that either we thought were not "good" (aka not get us love we craved) or belonged  only to certain people (e.g.men vs women).  We made judgments and assumptions about those parts of ourselves and out of fear, closed ourselves off from them.  Sometimes we have completely forgotten about them.  

Now, the it cuts both ways, in that the stuff that drives you nuts about people is also stuff you judge and possess, but don't want to show them out of fear.  But, the point here was that my friend was so alive and "in love" with someone who reflected what she thought she didn't have.  So, I challenge you to reflect upon people that you are "in love with" or admire greatly.  What's so great about them?  What do they have that you don't?  Is it true that you don't possess these great attributes or are you afraid to express them?  Could you imagine yourself in a situation where you could express these parts of yourself?  

Love stops becoming a way of getting what you think you lack and starts to be an opportunity to accept others where ever they are.  And you can "fall in love" with yourself.