Are You Kidding Me?

I've been searching for a NJ driver's manual in Spanish this past week. There are manuals you can access online, but none in Spanish. I thought that before I make the trek to a local office, I'd call the NJ Motor Vehicle Commission (MVC) and ask. When I asked for this manual, I was put on hold for about 5 minutes and then the woman said that there are none. They ran out a couple of months ago, it's being revised, and she has no idea when they are coming out.

"Are you kidding me?" I thought. "So, if someone is Spanish-dominant and wants to get their driver's license, they don't have a manual to study for the test?" I asked. "Yes." she replied "Well, we ran out of the English, as well, and it took a while for that to come out again." I asked for her supervisor, and supervisor's supervisor etc. and guess where they were? Of course, in a meeting. The next people up are the state legislators for my county (Essex). I went to their site and sent an email. I felt mildly better. I watched my feelings as this was happening. I was frustrated and angry that my state had allowed itself to not meet my needs and the needs of others who live here and are Spanish-speaking. In Essex county, it is significant group.

Then I calmed down. OK. Getting angry at this woman was not helpful for anyone. What to do? I did have a solution. I knew someone who had the manual- I'll just copy it. But, what about other people who did not have that solution? My feelings were getting hot again. This is injustice! They can't even get access to a Spanish manual online. My righteousness was on the loose! My ego was engaged.

I took a few deep breaths and let it go. I sent my email to ask for help. I don't know what to do next, but it will come to me IF I remain grounded and calm. I started to feel grateful that the reason I even needed this manual was because I have an au pair who is invaluable to our family. I was grateful that I had the skills to figure out who to write to and ask for help. I was grateful that we still have time before she has to change her license and has a friend with the manual. I was grateful that this was the biggest problem I've had this week and I was able to come up with a solution quickly. I was in a good place. A place where I can receive the information I need to make the next step. A place where I can observe my feelings and see which are serving me and which are depleting me of power.

The anger was a signal that things were not of my liking and I needed a change. Then when I observed it and was able to get some perspective, I could act from a place of power. I even got an idea that worked. I have faith that coming back to this place again and again will continue to feed me and inspire me to take the action that serves me and everyone else in the best way possible.

Give it a try. The next time you have a strong reaction to a situation, observe it and feel it completely. Don't try to change it, but remember that it is not who you are. It is a feeling you are having. If you are feeling overwhelmed by it, take a deep breath and let it out until you feel a little more grounded. What is this feeling telling you? It is there to give you information. You do not have to take action based on it. Is it telling you about what you want or what you don't want? If the later, see if you can focus on what you do want. How does that feel? Can you feel any gratitude about the situation? Is there an action you need to take now that will help? If so, do it. If in doubt, wait a little and see what happens. Send a comment and let us know how it goes..

Update: Two hours later I got a call from the state legislator's office. They are getting a couple of Spanish manuals delivered to their office and an assistant is dropping off at my house within a week or so. I think I have more gratitude to express!
Update#2: Got an email a few hours later from a friend who read the blog. She is very conversant with NJ MVC and sent me a link to download the driver's manual in Spanish that I spent hours looking for (and workers told me did not exist). I was floored, thanked her, and thanked the Universe for its speedy service!