Coming into your own

Monday I led my teleclass on"Uncovering Your Extraordinary Life" specifically for women.  It was similar to the local workshop, but I had not done this type of work on the phone.  My experience of it was that it flowed, it felt fairly easy to do, I felt grounded and confident.  In short, I felt like I was in my element. I was coming into my own.

I've had other moments in my life where this was the case.  It feels like this is what I was meant to do- like I was the "hole in the flute where Christ's breath flowed" and the music was wonderful. So, why doesn't  that happen all the time, or even, more often?  

I don't know the answer to that question, but I think at least part of it has to do with letting ourselves get confused- or having our egos confuse us- about what we want/need/should be doing.  I know if I stop being present, being still, focusing on the Now, then I start to get into my head and feel cut off from the heart.  And when that happens, I start worrying about details, and thinking and rethinking what I'm doing, trying to make sure it is perfect...then it all gets out of whack.  I get attached to what I am doing and disconnected to who I really am.  I start to fear the lose of what I have at the moment.

Case in point, the call went really well and flowed- I was connected.  Then I went to check out the recording of it the next day and ...it was only one-third there.  The recording stopped about 22 minutes into the hour call.  I was frustrated, disappointed.  Then I remembered, that it really doesn't matter.  I can do a lot with 22 minutes.  I started to become attached to a recording and started worrying about losing something.  I will create new things, new recordings. It's impossible not to.  I will be that flow again and how wonderful is that?