Getting Clear

So I've been experiencing recurrent flooding in my basement.  This is not a fun experience- I did not think I was choosing this over and over, but since essentially I do choose all of it, I wondered, why?

Why is tricky one. If you try too hard to think why, then you can easily get into ego stuff and suffer and struggle and blame and..I think you get it.  So, I did ask why, but then I let it go and observed what was going on.  It did force me to look at old stuff in my basement and clear out some mental stuff.  But, little leaks here and there led me to more wonderings and observations about deeper issues.  I started listening to my inner voice, getting still and journaling.  I started doing work around my family and family history. The deeper I got, the more signals I would get to keep going and looking.  I was swimming in information, but since I've had to tread water before, I "Just [kept] swimming" as Dory would say ("Finding Nemo").  Eventually, I started to feel the bottom with my toes and then with feet firmly planted, I slowly walked into shallower water.

I realized that some family history was informing beliefs of mine about abundance and worthiness.  If I had abundance, I would be losing something else.  So, attempts to reach for abundance had mixed efforts, sabotages, delays.  Once I connected the dots, it became clear that I was ready to let go of those beliefs and reveal more of my real self. Welcoming the abundance.  Willing to receive it.  Willing to do some things that seemed a little intimidating in order to bring more abundance into my life.  I also realized that I would waste time- I was actually not using my time in a way that matched my worth.  In other words, I wasted time with things I let distract me instead of doing things that were really worth my time- the things I loved and thought important.  I started using a tracker system- The Trikaya Tracker (www.TrikayaTribe.com) that kept me accountable to what I say is important in my life.  It only took me one day to realize that I was wasting time and effort in a big way.  

I know that we are spiritual beings living a human world.  We are playing with form.  I started wanting the form to actually match my spirit- I was getting clearer.  I was able to start letting go of beliefs of others and not make them my own.  Now, the world has opened up.  Another relief...