You Can Have Anything You Want!

Sometime ago, when I was in a half-asleep, half-awake state, I heard a voice say to me "You can have anything you want." Almost instantly, I became panicked and terrified. I started to breathe shallowly and it took me a bit to calm down and get oriented.

You would think that the prospect of having anything I wanted would be an exciting discovery- a glorious truth. It is true. I can have anything I want...and so can you. So, why the fear? After becoming still about it and going through my day I realized the dilemma I was facing that was causing such terror. I had been giving up what I wanted for the sake of others. I had been sacrificing my desires, denying myself, betraying myself because I held the belief that it was an either/or proposition. In other words, if I wanted something, say, a friendship, I needed to give something up, like my preferences or tastes, for that friendship to survive. Was this true? I mean, did I really need to do that to keep a friendship? I had certainly set it up that way. It seemed to work that way with no complaint from the other person. But, was it really true?

In my peaceful space, it was certainly not. I could have a thriving friendship and not deny who I was or what I wanted or what I thought. But, in that wounded, fearful belief, it was just not possible to maintain a friendship and not deny myself. After all, I had set it up that way and played it out over and over again.

I believe that many women often hold a version of this belief whether consciously or unconsciously. It can come up in your marriage, your relationship with your kids, your in-laws, even yourself. What have you been denying of yourself in order to keep up the front of perfection, happiness, or harmony? Does the prospect of having anything you want frighten you? If it does, it may be that you think you need to sacrifice your relationships to get what you really want. But, then again, if you can have anything you want, then you could have relationships and everything else, no?

If you are not sure what you believe about this, here's a little guide. Does asking for what you want make you a little anxious? Do you ever apologize to others for no reason? Are you hesitant to tell your loved ones what you really think? Do you ever put your needs after others? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, you may be holding the belief of "I can't have what I truly want and have close relationships-one or the other must go." Do some exploring within yourself. You may find what is holding you back..