Opening the Forgotten Door

When I have gone and continue to go through phases where I am discovering and looking at some of my wounded beliefs, I do not feel particularly great. The wound is like a child pounding on the door, trying to get in, trying to get my attention, and I have spent so much of my life not wanting to open the door that I have stopped hearing the pounding. Then when I am ready to address the neglected child, I feel awful in a dozen ways. I don't really want to open the door for fear of what is behind it. Then when I do open the door, I see myself in this little person who just wants to have my attention and love. I worry that perhaps I've waited too long to answer, or that the neglect has taken its toll and that the child is too much for me to handle, in that, the wounds are too deep.

But I have learned after going through this process over and over that although it feels yucky and like walking through mud, it not only gets easier and less muddy, it starts to feel better after a while. Then I come out of the process with a renewed sense of wellness and strength and peace. I realized that the process was worth it. I've also realized that if I am facing this wound, I can handle it. I am ready and able. If I don't feel that I am up to it, that's OK, too. There will be plenty of opportunities in this lifetime or the next to address it again.

Lastly, going through the process puts me in the the realm of warriors. If I can visualize myself as a warrior of sorts, that is, someone who is courageous and open enough to face the unknown and handle what comes, then I feel supported and safe enough to open that door and just observe what is there. I don't have to do anything, just look at it for what it is. A small scared child looking for its mother for comfort. And I know that I can do that.

So, if you've been putting off looking at some beliefs that are based on a wound ("I am not enough", "I don't deserve good things", "I am not lovable" are some examples), here are some questions to consider. What do you think is stopping you in just looking at these beliefs? Do you think you need to take action in some way once you discover them? What do you think would happen if you just opened the door and observed what was there? If you anticipate that you would need help and support, can you imagine what that would look like? (mentor, coach, therapist, good friend...) Let me know what comes up for you