Passing It On...

Yesterday was an extraordinarily flowing day.  I was fairly well rested and despite our babysitter have a nasty sinus infection and needing a day in bed, I was able to do some work and spend time with the kids.   This was a good lesson for me as well because I had started to think that I could do nothing without her!   

I took my youngest daughter to her usual weekly therapy appointment in a neighboring town.  The session went really well and I was blown away by her progress- this usually is accompanied by some tears of joy.  The therapist and I were all revved up with excitement about her recent accomplishments.  

My daughter and I departed with her usual request for a treat and even though she had a treat before, I was so happy about her success that I waived the "one treat per meal" rule and off we went.  In the back of mind was the notion of our parking situation.  A little far off from where we were venturing and with meter probably expired.  I didn't really care.  

As we rounded the corner, I saw a woman in the distance at our car.  She was standing and writing..not a good sign.  How should I approach her?  I had heard that meter readers can be pretty rigid about things like this.  No mercy.  

I decided that since everything went so smoothly today that I wasn't really concerned about the outcome, but I'd get there quickly and ask "is it too late?"  She looked at me and my daughter who was decked out in her daily uniform of 3 dresses, a fancy vest, a belt and crown, and said "Oh, never mind..."  She started walking away.  I was so thankful that  I asked if she wanted a spare "munchkin".  "No, but thanks for the offer." 

I was a little shocked...I had never heard of a parking ticket being nixed by just showing up.  I was pondering this as I drove out of the town.   Was is possible that my energy was so high from all the flowing of my day that she just changed her mind?  Was it that my kid looked too cute for her to have a conflict with me over a ticket?  Is she like that with every late parker?

She wouldn't take a munchkin, so maybe I need to pass this kindness along.  Pass on the kindness of a second chance or a needed break.  I started to look around my family and see where I could give someone a break.  There were lots of opportunities.  Some I took and others, not so. The event continues to give to me in that when ever I start a little negativity, I  think about a parking ticket that I didn't get because someone decided to give me another chance.

  

So, then I thought that I'd throw out the kindness into cyberspace and ask that you pass this kindness on as well.  Give someone a break, a second chance, don't take it personally or too seriously.  Keep the kindness flowing...or have a munchkin.

Managing Fear

Fear can be managed.  Look at firefighters, for instance.  Despite human nature- fear of fire and being burned, firefighters run into burning buildings, stay there, look for life and come out.  They are able to stay calm enough to issue commands and reassure others.  They get the job done.  They have learned to manage the fear and even turn it into anticipation..

I am not suggesting that next time you are afraid you need to run into a burning building.  That would be..not wise.  I am suggesting that a very effective way to manage your fear-based beliefs is to upgrade them (or downgrade them, depending on your take) a little at a time so that eventually they are no longer fears or at least not fears that have an influence on you.  

Here's a system that I just learned from a friend.  Observe a fear as it naturally comes up (usually that takes about 20 seconds or so...). Stop and look at it instead of trying to deny it or shoo it away.  As if it is a interesting creature, ask yourself "Where is this fear coming from? What is at its root?"  For instance, the fear could be that you won't be able to make enough money with your career.  The root of that could be that you would be seen as a failure, you would be a disappointment to your family, you would be revealed as a fake- incompetent, powerless etc.   

Now, you are at the meat of the fear- this is a good thing because now, you can question the validity of these beliefs.  So, you can't make enough  money- would you really be seen as a failure (aka see yourself as a failure)?  Only, if you choose to be.  Most of the successful people (financially) in the world have stories where they are broke.  So, you could see your potential financial losses as a good sign that you are on the track to success, IF you keep learning and growing.  

Then, as you start to take apart these fears and beliefs, you can start to revise them just a little. You don't necessarily want to change them to "I'm going to be a millionaire in the next month", because you know that is too big a leap and you don't believe it yet and so you'll fall right back to the original fear.  The little revision could be "If I'm not able to make enough money with my career, I know there are other sources of income that could come to me if I am open to them.  I could also make changes in my lifestyle until I start bringing in more income.  I will be able to adjust as needed."  Now, this may be a leap.  If so, revise a little more until you think you could believe in this statement.

Write the statement down and put in a place you can see or in your pocket so you can be reminded- especially in times when this fear pops up.  Then, instead of falling back to step 1 fear- the scary monster in the closet- you have step 2 fear- the not-as-scary monster that perhaps you could beat up if you needed to.  After a time, this new fear or less scary belief, which you can write down evidence for, will become comfortable.  Soon, you will be ready to let go of that fear for an even softer, higher energy thought that you  make into a belief.  Repeat process.

Eventually, these beliefs are not fear-based at all.  In fact, they are powerful, love-based beliefs.  Isn't that cool?  But, don't take my word for it.. give it a try.

Getting Distracted by What Goes "Wrong"

Today someone emailed me requesting that she be taken off my e-list.  I had started a daily messages service to my database. Just  messages that I had written to myself, stuff I needed to remember to stay connected to Source.  I thought it  may be helpful to others as well.   Apparently, for this woman, it was not the case.  Her email was not nasty or hurtful and yet I let it haunt me for the morning.  "Maybe this is not a good idea.  Maybe other people are also annoyed to get a daily message that they never requested.  Maybe I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe I am not helping anyone...." the thoughts go on.  This  kind of thinking may sound familiar to you.

The problem was not the email or the person who wrote it.  It was my thinking and feeling about it.  I made the email a judgment of me and my work.  The judgment came from me.  Let me write that again, so that we can fully get that.  The judgment came from me.  

I had spun a whole tale around this email about a judgment I had been holding onto about myself.  Now, this is good because it allowed me to see the judgment for what it was.  A story I was telling myself.   I have the opportunity to look at that more closely and let it go for something more in line with who I really am.

And now, I can move on.  Sometimes this can take a little time, some breathing, exploration. But, I will move on to the next moment where I can manifest who I really am and see the greatness in that.  I have let go of some of the limits I put on myself when I hold on to judgment of myself or others.  

I challenge you to look more closely the next time something goes "wrong".  What are the facts of the event (aka no interpretations, assumptions, drama, judgment)?   It probably doesn't sound so terrible now, right?  Look at the interpretations, drama, judgment you had added that made it seems worse than it was.  Can you see how that comes from you?  What's the lesson here?  What did you learn about yourself?  Can you start to move on from it?  If not, explore what is stopping you.  Remember that not forgiving yourself and others limits you- and you are meant to be limitless.