Daring to Be Happy

I got a recommendation from a good friend to see a movie called Happy Go Lucky. It's an interesting film about a British primary school teacher who is almost always happy. The beginning credits show her riding her bike through the streets of London, enjoying the ride, relaxed and...happy.

For me, the most striking aspect of the film was how people reacted to this young kind woman. Some of the characters were is various states of pain and sadness and either ignored her, berated her, or blamed her for their misery.

It stayed with me because this was my excuse for not being happy. It was my fear. I might offend someone. I might threaten someone. I might remind someone that they don't feel good and they'd take it out on me. I might be betraying some unspoken agreement for both of us to stay unhappy and unfulfilled.

It was not until I was really sick of being unhappy that I was willing to risk the consequences of being happy. I was willing to let go of the fear of change and experiment with being happy. I was willing to let go of relationships that could not survive the change. I was daring to be happy.

That's what happens with this woman in the film. You never see her blame the other person. She has empathy and compassion for the pain of the other person, but she does not allow it to deter her from her own happiness. In some cases, she has to let go of relationships.

What's stopping you from being happy (or passionate or abundant or loving)? What are you afraid will happen? Who might be affected by this change? Will you be breaking an agreement with someone?

Now that you have those answers, are you ready to let go and see what happens if you allow yourself to be happy? Can you let go of caring about what others think about you and dare to be happy?

Do this experiment for a week and let me know what happens!

Is Boredom the Ego?

I was sitting at the computer recently and found myself feeling bored. This is hard to imagine if you knew that I'm a mother of three young children and running a business out of my house. But, there are times when there is not much to do. In fact, I have purposely made it so. I could be cleaning something or writing something (like a blog post?) or "fixing something". Still, everyone seemed to be accounted for in the family and I didn't have the desire to do any of the above.

The first impulse was to call or IM someone, but suddenly I realized that it was covering up the feeling and I wanted to see why I felt that way. Boredom, to me, feels like restlessness. Uninspired, low energy that is not easily remedied. There is an underlying anxiety to it.

"What should I do now?" "How do I make this moment move more quickly so I can get back into the action that I call 'my life'?" There were definite plans for later in the day, but none right now. How could I be bored? This gap in a busy schedule rarely happens, but when it does, it feels...not so good.

Here's the big question: Is this boredom I am feeling just the ego? Is it just a story that the ego has spun out of control? Have I totally forgotten that I am part of the Everything, the I Am that I Am?

The story is that I have this moment. The spin is that this moment is boring- not fulfilling and must be filled up with stuff to feel better. Yeah, pretty much sounds like the ego to me!

I decided to just look at one of my favorite things in the world, a tree. I don't know why I love trees so much exactly, but I do. They are still and strong and beautiful and I always start to remember, or at least remember that I have forgotten, who I am.

I looked at the tree for just a moment and breathed and felt the feeling. Feeling less bored, more in the moment. Looked a litte longer. Feeling less restless, more peaceful.

I stopped feeling the urge to fix and do and cover the boredom up with "being productive". I stopped feeling like I needed to speed through the moment so I could act out my plans and "do my life".

Here's an experiment: Next time you are feeling bored or restless or anxious or you don't know what, ask yourself some questions. What are you feeling? What story have you created to justify this feeling? What if you did not try to get through the moment so you could stop feeling that way, but just stayed in the moment and remembered that this is a feeling?

Perhaps look at a tree or a flower or your kids playing and remember that this feeling is not you, it is a story the ego is spinning. Then that gives you some space to remember who you really are- you are the peace that you are craving, the love you desire.

Let me know what happens!

Manifesting From the Heart

Yesterday, my husband drove in our new Toyota Prius hybrid car. I was thrilled. The kids were excited to meet our new family member "Priscilla Prius" (our mini-van was named "Sienna" since it was a Toyota Sienna).

I had manifested this car from my heart.

Huh?

Let me clarify.

Several years ago, before children and suburban living, we were car-less and loved it. Living in NYC didn't require a car and if we did need one, we'd rent a zipcar.

Then after our first child was born and we decided to live in a place that did not require climbing 5 flights of stairs, we bought a VW Passat, my husband's desired car. I wanted a hybrid, but they were out of price range for us. In other words, I let the "how", that is, price, get into my psyche and before I knew it, I was riding in the VW.

It was great! It served us well, and my husband promised a hybrid as our next car.

Speed up 4 years later and we're selling the Passat....for a mini-van. What happened? I was pregnant with our third and our options for vehicles were narrowing as our size of family was widening. At least that was what I told myself as I looked around at the hundreds of mini-vans we saw around us. Once again, the "how" dominated the equation. We'd never be able to fit 3 kids in a Prius, right? The other hybrids were not as great as reported, so I'd wait.

Then, as I was dropping my younger daughter at an appointment, I noticed some friends in their Prius. " I'd love one of these, but with three kids, it doesn't work", I lamented. My friend asked me to check out the back seat. He had three carseats snuggly set, ready for their brood of twins and an older child.

I couldn't believe it. "How'd you do that?" I riddled him with questions. "How you'd get those carseats?" "When did you buy it?" "Do you like it?"

It was then that it hit me that having a hybrid was really within my grasp. We could fit our whole family in this car. The times when we have more than 5 people amounts to perhaps twice a year. We could rent an extra for those times.

The "hows" of this manifestation were cleared.

The "whys" were becoming more clear, as well. Having a hybrid would be in keeping with my values. It would be more environmentally sound and save money. It would be pro-active in breaking the country's addiction to oil and getting us out of compromising relationships with oil-rich countries. It short, this was a manifestation from the heart. It reflected my heart and what I wanted for my world.

Still, I wasn't sure it would pass with my husband. I floated the idea with no attachment to the result. At first he was doubtful and then by the next day he was looking a Consumer Reports. This is always a good sign.

Before I knew it he wanted me to pick out colors for interiors. Then he calculated that between trading in our van, getting a better loan, and saving on gas, we would be spending less on this car than the van. All good news!

And today, 5 weeks later, we have our new Prius, my heartfelt manifestation, in our garage. It's a beautiful sight.

In case I was not clear in this story, manifestation is influenced by "whys" and "hows". The "why"s usually help to expand your vision and inspire you to continue or not. Think about why you want something. Is it for the ego or for the heart? Does it make up for something you think you lack in your life or is it a confirmation of your highest self?

Now, for the "hows". "How"s tend to contract the vision. When you start trying to figure out the "how"s you usually get discouraged, overwhelmed and the manifestation dies out or is delayed. Let the Universe figure out the hows.

When I started to think about the hows of having the car, I got discouraged and then my thoughts and feelings stopped matching the desire for the car. They reflected that is was not possible. It delayed the manifestation for years.

Then, when it was revealed that this would work and not all the reasons how it couldn't, I had no reason for delay. It was a sign from the Universe to have faith in my desire and not worry about the "how"s. (I could have easily dismissed it as a unique situation that would not work for me.)

The trick with future manifestations is having that faith that the "hows" would work themselves out before it is revealed. That probably would have brought the car even earlier to me. (In truth, it was fine either way..)

Just Be Present

If I bothered to look at past posts I would most likely see quotes from the animated film Kung-Fu Panda, but at risk of being repetitive, I want to write this one again.

It's that important.

Here it is: "The past is a mystery. Tomorrow is history. But, today is a gift....that's why they called it 'the present'." The kung-fu sage turtle says this to Po, the chubby, dumpling-loving, kung-fu master hopeful.

Gotta love it. Don't worry about the past, don't concern yourself with the future. Just Be Present. And I will add to that. When you are present, you are your present (or gift) to the world.

I get asked fairly often about why we are here in the world. What is our mission? How do you know if you are on the right path?

If you are in the here and now, you are on the right path. If you are present to yourself and others, you are fulfilling your mission.

What? Come on. That's not practical. There must be something I need to do, right? Specifically, what do I do? This is often the response.

I totally get this. I've asked the same questions and on occasion, I have the same doubts about the simplicity of this statement. And, I always come back to the same conclusion.

When I am present, I am not resistant to what is. When I am accepting of what is, I can see all the options out there for me. When I am present, I am clear and if action is necessary, I can take clear, effective action in the direction that feels best. How do I know if feels best? I am present. I am at peace.

How do you become present? Get still and quiet. Sometimes I close my eyes and just listen to my breathing. Sometimes and I sit and look at a tree and feel its stillness. (Trees awaken us to our stillness. Gotta love 'em!) Sometimes I watch my children laugh and play and see their presence in what they are attending to. Children are very present. I become aware if my mind is focusing on the past or future instead of enjoying what's happening right now.

Give it your attention and see what gifts the present reveals to you.

Befriending the Moment

I've been re-reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. (I highly recommend it, if you haven't already picked up a copy.) It's been a year or so since my last reading and it always surprises me how much I rediscover from a book like this.

This makes sense considering how much I've changed since the last reading. I've grown and stretched and fallen and gotten up again. I've slowed down and sped up and slowed down again.

One passage that got my attention, although it was one of many, was about what our relationship is with the Now, this moment. How are we treating this moment? Tolle puts out four possibilities for how we treat the Now: as a friend, as an obstacle, as a means to an end, or as an enemy.

It stopped me in my tracks. I thought about how many times in the day that I rush through activities because I want to get to the end. How I treat much of my time in overcoming perceived obstacles. That there are even times when I feel as if the moment is against me.

Then I realized why I've had this urge for the past month to just slow down. It is precisely to look at this most important relationship. To make give myself the space to make friends. To break the pattern of doing, once again, and relax into "being".

It never fails to be fruitful without me trying to make it that. It always is surprisingly effortless and abundant. It never ceases to be peaceful when I let go of all the cookey and seemingly rational reasons to keep going the way I've been and just "be" and let "it" be as it is.

If you dare to reflect upon how you relate to your world, consider this question: How's life treating you? How are you treating life and, most importantly, this moment? Are you friends with the Now or are you making it something else? Let me know what comes up for you...